The Veterans Wife
I'm just a Veterans Wife, I am nothing special. I'm not looking for Brownie Buttons, Metals Of Honor or Purple Heart. I'm just a wife who loved, honored and cherished a Veteran.
The day I met my future husband was back on October 31, 1994. In November of that same year the next month we knew we were meant for each other and moved in together. Travis had been through 2 bad marriages and I had been through 3 myself. But we just knew there was something there, something clicked and our relationship took off.
It wasn't until March 1, 1998 that we decided we were compatible and got married. Just wanted to make sure everything was going smoothly before we both took that huge step. We were truck drivers when that day came. Got a load going to Las Vegas and we stopped at the Flying J truck stop on Cheyenne Ave. Took a taxi downtown and got married, and it was back to the truck stop.
From the day we first met, I noticed a few things about him that didn't seem right, like sleeping a lot, getting sick more than he should. But it didn't matter because I was madly in love with this man. It wasn't until we were both driving for CRST, Inc. trucking company that our lives changed. He broke his neck while we were unloading a trailer we shouldn't of had to do in the first place. Our dispatcher didn't want to pay to have the load unloaded by 4 guys we wanted to hire. The dispatcher keep saying "Get them to come down on price" which I didn't think $150 was too much considering it was 20 pallets, double stacked and a break down load, that was actually cheap! Nope, didn't want to pay that much. Well several hours later we had enough and I told Travis to stay in the truck as he wasn't feeling good and I would handle the load by myself. Well, of course he didn't listen and got into the trailer with me. We got all the way down to the last 4 pallets, and that when the top pallet gave way and came crashing down hitting Travis in the back of the head. Amazing thing about it was it never knocked him down, he was still standing. But I yelled at him to get his butt back in the sleeper berth and stay there. The next morning Travis couldn't get out of bed, he was in intense pain generating from his neck and head. CRST was giving us a bad time when I told them there was something wrong and he was injured. We both had to come off the truck and stop driving because of what happen. He was in too much pain to drive. Then CRST had him going to see their doctors and placing him on a table and stretching his neck which they called physical therapy. Travis was getting any better, he was getting worse. So I had enough and called a attorney to take this case. The attorney sent Travis in to see his occupational doctor/ orthopedic surgeon, and this doctor sent him in for a MRI of his neck and head. After the MRI the nurse was looking over the pictures to make sure everything came out right, and that's when she came walking over and said it's a miracle this man is still walking! that he's not paralyzed from the neck down. Travis had crushed 3 vertebrae's in his neck just like egg shells, crushed!! C-5, C-6 and C-7 Doctor then told us Travis had Degenerative bone disease and asked how long he had this? We didn't know. The doctor said his bones were like turning to powder. Surgery had to be done and so it was scheduled. They replaced the 3 crushed vertebrae's with titanium and coral mess and a dead man's rib bones. He seemed fine after the procedure, but it didn't end there. At the time this is all taking place we were homeless, living in run down motels and even the front seat of our truck with all our belongings in the bed of the truck. The doctor noticed Travis had numbing in both hands and figured it had to do with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and scheduled Travis to have not 2 but 3 procedures on both hands. Once on the right, and twice on the left hand. That's when I became his 24 hour 7 days a week caretaker. His hands were wrapped up, so I had to feed him, change him, bathe him and hold it while he pee'd and yes, wipe him when he had a bowel movement. Also I was with him through every procedure sleeping in the back seat of the car or the truck outside in hospital parking lots waiting for when I could go inside and be with him in his room. I never left him, stayed with him all the time. I had to because he hated hospitals and would give the nurses and staff a bad time. I was the only one who could calm him down and allow the nurses to work on him, as long as I was there.
We were homeless for 5 years living in vehicles and tents in campgrounds because the trucking company was only giving him $150 a week to survive on through Workers Compensation, and his attorney wasn't really helping neither, he didn't care. Finally the day came and it was time to appear in court for our hearing with CRST, Inc. That was held at a building across the street from the Pomona, CA. Courthouse on Holt Blvd. Travis won the case and he was to be compensated. But one thing you have to understand is, you don't get much in the end when it's a workers comp case. Because what the initial settlement is, everything is deducted from your settlement, such as the doctors bills, hospital bills, surgeries, everything! even the attorney fees, so what is left over is what you get. So Travis walked away with only $60,000 for breaking his neck and ending up with permanent damage to his neck, arms and hands, because the nerves were severed when the neck broke. So you don't walk away with much after it's all said and done. It was enough to get our lives back, get off the streets and start fresh. With that money we bought a used 98 Honda Civic which turned out to be the best car ever and I still have it to this day, 17 years later. The next thing we bought was a older mobile home in Bodfish, Ca. that was already sitting in a park and with only $150 a month space rent, couldn't pass that up. We painted it, added some new things inside along with new furniture and a new bed and we were living the life. Not long after moving in we became friends with the current park managers/owners, and they were telling us that they were selling the park, and the possible new owners were looking for on-site park managers in exchange for the two bedroom house and free rent. That was a opportunity we couldn't pass up and applied for the job and got it. The first year of being managers, everything went smoothly until Travis' health started to decline. I was able to get on Medi-cal for all of us since my daughter was living with us and going to school full time, she was in high school. I found a good doctor in town who would see both Travis and I for our healthcare. Dr. Jack Nadler was pretty cool, and when we made appointments he would see us both together at the same time. Doctor started doing some tests on Travis to find the source of the problem and why he was feeling so sick. On our next visit the doctor asked him how long he had been a diabetic? Both of us were clueless and didn't know, never thought of testing Travis' blood sugar levels. The reason being is because Travis' blood tests came back already showing signs of kidney damage. Then the doctor sent him down to Bakersfield, Ca. to have a Stress Test done on his heart. Even those tests came back showing signs of Congestive Heart failure. Makes you wonder where all this was coming from? why was he becoming so sick so fast? It's not like he didn't eat right or took care of himself. Yeah, he was a little overweight but considering he's 6'0" and a really big guy, large and stocky. The only thing I would nag him about was his drinking, and that was only beer, never hard liquor. The only time he would drink is when he got his check around the first of the month, bought a 12 pack and that was it until the next check. But occasionally the kids would sneak him in a 12 pack when they wanted to steal me for the day, because that's the only way he would say yes...LOL. He was not a heavy drinker. The doctor kept close watch of Travis and his diabetes to make sure he kept it under control. Even though I would find him sneaking in a candy bar or Twinkies from time to time, Oh heck! let's be honest here! Travis had a stash of crap he shouldn't be eating, but by saying no was like taking candy from a baby!! But I hounded him constantly and told him he wouldn't get better if he ate that crap. That's when Travis developed a huge cyst on his testicles the size of a grapefruit. Doctor Nadler made the appointments to have this removed at a hospital in Bakersfield. Thank God it wasn't cancer!! But what he did while he was in the hospital is sign himself out. Why? Because some nurse came into his room and tried to hook him up to a kidney dialysis machine when it was intended for the guy in the bed next to him. He flipped out and signed himself out and called me to come and get him. I had to be home during the day because I was the manager and needed to collect rents from tenants, and after the office would close I would drive down to be with him. So he came home with a huge opening on his testicles that I had to clean out 3 to 4 times a day and pack the hole so it could heal from the inside out.
Soon my daughter graduated high school and the Medi-cal was cut off, and I had to scramble fast to find another source of medical coverage for Travis. So my next step was to get online and apply for VA healthcare. Not only did he get free medical, but got a pension as well for not being able to work. It wasn't much, but enough to keep the roof over our heads, as we still had to pay all the utilities in the house and even propane and buy food. We only got the house to live in as payment for being managers, we still got stuck paying for everything else. So now I was taking Travis down to Bakersfield CBOC VA clinic for everything. Sucked because that was 80 miles round trip just to have blood drawn, but we had to do it. VA immediately put him on all kinds of drugs, and one of them was Metformin in which he was taking 1,000mg twice a day for the diabetes. The VA turned out to be the biggest battle of my life. I never let Travis handle dealing with the VA since his fuse was short, or he wouldn't comprehend anything or remember. So when it came to the phone calls, paperwork or ordering prescriptions, I was the one who did it all. Not only having to deal with the VA on a daily basis, but having to care for my sick husband as well.
The prescriptions just kept coming and more were added every time he had an appointment with them. He was taking so many drugs that he couldn't function, could get out of bed. Sometimes he would sleep for days, getting out of bed long enough to use the bathroom and right back to bed. Then he had the heart attack, didn't even know it. Something strange the doctor told us is that diabetics sometimes won't even know they had a heart attack called the Silent Killer. I got him to the hospital in our town and they got him stable. Then the ER doctor was going to have him transported to the VA in Los Angeles. The ER doctor called down to Los Angeles and requested transport by ambulance and the VA refused to pay for the ambulance bill. They told the ER doctor to have either his wife, friend or someone bring him down. That ER doctor was so upset! WOW! he overrode the VA and sent Travis by ambulance to Heart Hospital in Bakersfield. There he ended up with 2 stents in his heart because of blocked arteries. After being in there for 3 weeks they finally discharged him and sent him home. But not before adding 4 new medications to the list. All together he was on 4 different blood thinners including the worse of them all Coumadin (rat poison). By the time it was all said and done he was a walking pharmacy he was so drugged up. Travis had no quality of life, he had no life. Just a zombie laying in bed all day and night. When it was time for another doctors appointment, I had to dress him and practically carry him to the car.
One appointment came when he had to see his NP Nurse Practitioner at the clinic. She looked at him and said OOPS! I have to take you off of Metformin and put you on insulin! The Metformin caused more damage to his already damaged kidneys. It was so obvious that anyone down there with a license to practice didn't know what the hell they were doing. Just push them drugs! just give him more! not even taking into consideration side effects or which ones can't be mixed with other drugs. They didn't care. Not once did any NP look into the cause of the problem and try to cure it, oh hell no! "Here...just take this drug and hope it works"
I had enough of this circus and looked into not only quitting my job as property manager after 10 years of doing so, but to seek out better healthcare and make a beeline out of California. So after doing tons of research, I found Payson, Arizona. The only way we could make this move was to find something affordable, since his monthly VA pension was peanuts, we needed to find affordable housing, something that goes by your income. The apartments I wanted us to move into were just down the street, but they had a 5 year waiting list and I didn't want to wait that long. The Bakersfield VA Clinic was killing him and I needed to think fast. I found out that Payson, AZ had apartments by the same company as the ones in Lake Isabella, Ca. So I got online and contacted the manager directly. She emailed me back and said there's a 1 year waiting list. I applied for a unit. What was even more better is, the VA doctor was in town, only 1 mile from out house and the Phoenix VA hospital was 90 miles instead of like the Los Angeles VA that was 200 miles. It was perfect! But I had to wait one year, praying Travis would hold out that long.
We finally made it and moved into our new little apartment, our rent was only $268 a month with only having to pay electric. I thought we would never make it, but I made damn good and sure things went smoothly. Travis was shocked that I handled everything like I did and made things happen. I did this all for him. I just wanted my husband back, for us to have a life, to be able to get him out of bed and for us to do things together again, I missed the old Travis.
I gave up my life to care for this man, I gave up everything because Travis was my everything! I let myself go to hell, lost all of my teeth, couldn't afford to go to the dentist, and he couldn't afford it neither. I just made sure I did nothing but care for him for 24 years of my life. I'm not one of those high maintenance type of girls. You don't have to shower me with diamonds and pearls, don't have to buy me a fancy car or wear nice expensive clothes. Nope...take me out for an occasional hamburger and I'm happy. Just tell me you love me everyday, give me a kiss and a huge hug and I am on top of the world. Love was my diamond. Every single day of my life Travis told me how much he loved me, he never missed a day. Sometimes he would tell me several times a day. I was one lucky girl, and couldn't ask for more.
There is one thing I take very seriously and that's my wedding vows. For better of worse, richer or poorer, through sickness and health, to respect, honor and Cherish.
After the move to Payson those words worse and sickness would be put to the test. When Travis started going to the Phoenix VA. We moved here to Payson, Arizona in December of 2011, and then got Travis going to the Phoenix VA shortly after they transferred his medical file over and got him started there. At first everything seemed to be okay, having him come in to have lab work and some tests done. To see his doctor for his diabetes, which turned out to be a joke and we stopped seeing her. On one visit she started asking questions that were off the wall. None of the questions even had to do with his diabetes. Questions like "Do you own any guns?" "Do you feel like hurting yourself or others?" That's when I spoke up and said "What do any of these questions have to do with diabetes?" She just looked down at Travis' chart and couldn't give me a straight answer. That was the last time we seen her, never went back. We had no idea this scandal was even going on, veterans being placed on waiting lists, cooking the books. But we found out soon enough that my husband was one of them placed on this list.
It wasn't until they got busted and the cat out of the bag when the phone started ringing off the hook for Travis to come in for all sorts of testing, labs, surgeries and what ever else they could throw into the mix. What make it so difficult was that our only vehicle was really not in the condition to make those long trips to Phoenix for every single appointment. So we had to take the DAV shuttle van that came from Show Low, Arizona 90 miles east of Payson, sit in the parking lot of the Giant gas station around 7:00 am and wait for the van to show up to take us into Phoenix. That was a all day sucker! We would pack lunches and drinks into a cooler bag and take with us, because we were there all day, and sometimes wouldn't get back home until 5:00 or 6:00pm at night. I always went with him to every single appointment, had to. He couldn't remember anything, or where to go when he got there. I was his walking computer as I kept all of his medical records with me in a file box, knew everything about him inside and out. Without me being there, he would have been lost and became confused. The VA hated me, I know it. Because I was the type of person who didn't take crap from anymore, not even the government, especially the VA. The VA would call our house and ask to speak with Travis instead of me, so I would walk into the bedroom and hand Travis the phone and say "The VA doesn't want to speak with me, only you". He would grab the phone and tell them, "Don't speak to me, talked to my wife" and hand the phone back to me. I know it's true about what the veterans are saying when they say if you start crap with the VA they "Red Flag" you, your file. They label you as a trouble maker. I must of had the most red flags, because all I did was give the VA a piece of my mind and lots of trouble. Hey, they deserved it!
In 2014, that's when Senator McCain started the Choice Program and I was hoping things would start looking up and becoming better once this program came into full swing. Actually, no it didn't. The program was a absolute joke! Yes, I understand the program just got started and their employees were learning the ropes of a newly placed program, so they had to weed out a few things before things could run smoothly. I think I knew more about the program than they did. Travis was able to still see his Primary VA doctor here in Payson which was good, we really like this doctor. Even though he had his own private practice, he still had the heart to care for all of our veterans here in Payson and the surrounding areas. Great guy! So he signed on with a contract with the VA. Still, I went to every single appointment. I was the one who called, made all the appointments, and to have testing, labs what ever needed to be done. My main goal was to keep my husband alive as long as I could. There would be times Travis wouldn't want to go to any appointment, and I would get mad and tell him to get his butt dressed and get in the car!! There was no getting out of that with me. My job was to make sure, appointments were set, call Choice and get authorizations done, have a copy either faxed or mailed to me so that I could also have a copy for my files. Make sure the doctor would put in for the consult a few months in advance, cause God knows Choice would take their sweet time getting anything done. I was always on the phone with them, making sure everything was done right or to push them to get all the paperwork faxed over to doctors and the hospital. I learned the in and outs of the Choice Program, I learned real quick on how to play the game. If you didn't, you were screwed. Can't even begin to tell you how many times Choice didn't fax over the paperwork to the hospital so Travis could get his paracentesis done as it's always been done for the last 2 + years every single week on every Tuesday. Choice knew this, and still was late or didn't fax the paperwork in on time. Or, the hospital wasn't satisfied with the paperwork and needed the doctors signature to complete the process. Even though the doctors electronic signature was on it. So I found myself having to go to the hospital, get the authorization from the front administration desk, get in my car and drive over to the doctors office just to get his signature. When Choice did this to us, that's when we would go in for the appointment only to be told the paperwork was NOT faxed and I had to take him into the emergency room to get his paracentesis done in there. Even though it was the fault of Choice for not doing their job, we got stuck paying for those emergency room visits every single time! any where between $3,000 to $5,000 a visit. I can't even begin to find the words about how bad this Choice Program was and still is. They have really placed a burden on us when it comes to medical bills. This crap they throw at you about "If you have a emergency room visit and are unable to make it to the VA hospital, then call Choice within 24 hours and let them know" Ok, I did that and still got stuck with the bill because they claim the emergency room visit was NOT a emergency after all.
I started attending the VA Town Hall Meetings when they would come up to Payson, and I went alone. My husband didn't even want to go, so I would. When I did, I gave them a piece of my mind every time. I think I scared the last VA director before Rima Ann Nelson, Yeah, Debra Amdour I believe. When they finally brought me the Mic which took forever to get, since they were handing it to all the male veterans first, and I was just a veterans wife. I felt as if I was being ignored when they would pass me up. When they finally came over to me I was so upset that when I got the Mic, I blasted the room and the director as well! She couldn't even answer me, she was shaking so badly. She had to pass the microphone to the guy standing next to her. I demanded to know why the doctor bills weren't being paid, as I held up a very huge stack of unpaid bills and waved them around for all to see. That's when this guy in a suit approached me and asked me to come and talk to him in the other room. I know what was going on, they didn't like me making a scene so they wanted to whisk me away as quickly as possible. It's one of those games "Don't make the VA look bad". So I went into the other room with this guy who turned out to be The big guy from Customer Relations with no other than TriWest Glenn Gray. He asked if he could make copies of all my bills and promised me he would look into the matter. He paid a few of them, but I am still left with hundreds upon thousands more of medical bills dating as far back as 2005 and new ones to date. Even though I have the authorizations to the majority of those bills, they will never get paid and I am being sued.
Now that Travis is gone, it won't stop me from going to those Town Hall Meetings until these medical bills are paid in full. The last VA Town Hall which was not too long ago, right about the time Travis decided to pull the plug and go on dialysis. I was so happy when I was able to get Travis to go this time! The reason I needed him there this time is because I am only a veterans wife, and it's obvious they don't listen to the wife when the veteran isn't there. Because every time I would go, I would get blown off. But don't think I sat thee quietly and said nothing, Oh Hell no! I was a Wild Banshee and they knew I was there every time. This last Town Hall, he went with me. He sat in a old busted up wheelchair that had no foot rests, no arm rests and was all torn up. It was given to us years ago when I knew Travis' health was eventually going to fail him, so I kept it for just in case. But here he sat in his busted up wheelchair, barely able to lift his head as he sat there sick and slowly dying. Doctor had put in the consult 4 months prior to that night, and had not heard a word from the VA on when I was suppose to get a new wheelchair. Doctor even put in for a toilet riser so it wouldn't be too hard for me to lift Travis off the toilet, which was quite often considering he was taking diuretics Furosemide. Many of the medications would give him diarrhea and he had to go at least 4 to 5 times a day, or I would end up having to clean him up in bed and change the sheets. But at this Town Hall I finally got the chance to show the director of the Phoenix VA and all the others dressed in suits showing off their shiny name tags, see, here's my husband Travis, and he's dying. He has liver, kidney and heart failure. He pulled the plug on his dialysis and decided to let himself die. So what does it take to get a wheelchair out of you guys? I then proceeded to say to the Director Rima Nelson, "The doctor put in the consult months ago and I am still waiting" Ms. Nelson admitted to me that there was indeed a problem in that department that needed to be addressed. I told her, "Well, while your trying to figure out that problem, it's not doing me any good!" I had all these VA employees all trying to approach me at the same time while I was speaking to Ms. Nelson, basically trying to get me to shut up and not make a scene in front of all the other veterans. Can't make the VA look bad, now can I. I told them I wasn't done yet, and to let me finish. Now, I said, this is the third Town Hall I have attended, and I still have yet to see all these medical bill paid by you! As I held up a huge fully packed yellow envelope full of medical bills, while I grabbed the other envelope off the chair to show them that one too. So, I said, what is it going to take to get these paid? All she could say was that one of her staff was out there in the room and I could speak to him about the bills. The guy took me into the hallway outside the room to discuss the issue. I showed him all the authorizations I had along with stacks of unpaid bills. This idiot, which I could tell by the look in his eyes I was just being blown off too. He just kept saying, I'll look into those for you...repeat. He took down my number and as soon as he did that, I told him, "Yeah, you won't call me, and I am willing to wager on that" I was right, because the call never came, and I was again blown off.
Let's be honest here, the VA is one complete joke! I cannot even begin to believe how all these idiots have jobs! But yet they get so defensive when you try to take them on, challenge them, or they just hang up on you like they have done so many times to me. Nobody can even begin to imagine what I have gone through with the VA. I thank God Travis didn't have to do it, or he would have lost it a long time ago and ended his life from stress. I even went so far as to contact directly the President Of the United States about a problem I was having with the VA. This was way before they set up the VA hotline with the White House. My email went directly to the President. Within 3 days I got the call from his staff about my problem and they would look into it. 1 week later the VA in Washington DC was calling me to handle the matter, and they did.
Many don't know but I was even a whistle blower on the Phoenix VA, Oh yeah, and darn proud of it too. They deserved it! When Travis went in to have his carotid artery worked on, don't get me wrong, the doctors did a great job, and I had no complains there. The Vascular surgeon was excellent and I thanked her for it too. The problem was with the patients rooms. When they took him out of ICU and took Travis to a regular room, the conditions of the room were horrible, disgusting to the point I have seen dog kennels cleaner than these rooms! This was no joke! I've got the pictures to prove it, which I took with my cell phone. I was the reason they said no more cameras or cell phones taking pictures. It was because of me. The medical equipment was covered with blood, feces, you name it. Covered in a black soot, never been cleaned. Blood splatter every where. Now let me not forget to tell you this! When he first came in to be admitted and they took Travis into one of these smaller rooms, which are about the size of a coat closet. Bed up against the wall and one chair because they can't fit anything else in there. Two nurses came in to take his blood from his arm.One was a actual nurse, the other was a trainee CNA. Taking blood from his arm was not the problem, it was when the trainee reached in her pocket to pull out a cotton ball to place on his arm, she dropped it on the floor. Well instead of pulling out a fresh cotton ball to put on his arm, she reached down and picked up the now dirty cotton ball and put that on his arm where the blood was drawn. He threw a fit, and the nurses got mad and walked out doing nothing about it. Then one day when he was out of ICU and into another room, the real dirty room, this maintenance guy came in with a picture to hang on the wall. He had a drill in the other hand. He moved Travis bed from the wall a few inches, just enough so this guy could get in there to hang the picture above his bed. When he drilled the hole in the wall to place the screw, all this plaster from the wall came flying all over Travis and even got some of it into his eyes. The guy hung the picture, put his bed back and said "Sorry" and walked out. Funny thing about it is, the picture he put up, looked like something out of a thrift store or yard sale. Out dated style of picture, like something from the 80's because it had a mauve color frame. But yet the VA claims it spent millions of dollars on art work to decorate the VA hospitals, yeah right! I know because I have old kitchen cabinets in my apartment that are the same color, and my apartment was built back in the 80's. So I am not stupid, I know a back street bargain when I see one. Took a picture of that too! want to see it? The bathroom in his room which was shared with the adjoining patient room, was sickening! to say the least. Feces all over the toilet, blood, and even the tile floor had so much build up of some black icky goo that I took my finger and actually scraped this nasty stuff up with my finger nail. (Don't worry, I washed my hands) The janitor that came in the mop the floors, the water was so black I thought he was mopping the floor with 40 wt. motor oil. Never changed the water at all. Now, the biggest thing of them all to where my husband was so upset that he put on his clothes and was ready to walk out. I was on my way down to see him when I got the call to come and get him now. I was coming down on the DAV shuttle van. He was laying in bed half awake/asleep. This nurse walks in to take his temp, she has with her this medical cart that has the blood pressure monitor, cuff and basket on the back with her little box of temp wand covers. She goes to grab the temp machine and realizes there are no more temp wand covers. So instead of marching her butt down the hallway to get a new box of plastic temp wand covers, she looks over at Travis and thinks he's sleeping, which he's not. She grabs a USED dirty temp cover out of the trash bag on the cart, puts it on the temp wand and goes to stick it in his mouth! He stopped her by grabbing her arm and saying "You aren't putting that dirty thing in my mouth!!" The nurse freaked and stormed out of his room. That's when I get the call and told him I was on my way and to hold tight until I get there. When I arrived, he was already dressed and sitting up on the edge of the bed. He explained what happen and demanded that he get released and go home. I walked down to the nurses station and told them to get ahold of his vascular surgeon so she can do up the discharge papers. When I was walking back to his room, he passed me in the hallway, he was already leaving and not coming back. Nurses were screaming at him to come back, chasing him down the hall after him. He wouldn't listen, it was me he would only listen to. So I had to go get him and let him know they contacted his doctor and she was coming and to wait patiently until she showed up. About 20 minutes later, here comes the doctor and asks Travis what's going on, so Travis told her. All the doctor could say is, let me get the papers printed up and you can go home, but let me also examine you too. Travis showed her that he was fine and she let him go. I got a wheelchair and wheeled him out to wait for the shuttle van to return and take us home. I found out later while looking over his medical files on Myhealthevet.va.gov that a nurse noted in his chart that he was escorted off VA premises by the VA police! Ah, No...I don't think so. There was no VA police around and I wheeled him right out the front door. It still shows up on his medical file to this day, but I made them amend it and they put below, "Wheeled out by wheelchair by his wife". The only reason they put up those old pieces of artwork, if you can call it that. Is because the Inspector General was paying a visit for inspection, so they were racing against the clock to get everything looking half decent.
There's is absolutely nothing good I can say about the Phoenix VA, I just know that they were waiting for my husband and I to go away. No, not going to happen. Now my husband is dead, I still have tons of medical bills and they keep coming in every day in the mail. You guys denied my husband services, you refused to even pay for his kidney dialysis only because you found the perfect opportunity to finally take him out. It wasn't until I roared like a lion and threaten you guys that you finally agreed to pay for the dialysis.
It was the VA who didn't have the proper set up nor the equipment, or doctor to perform the TAVR procedure (heart valve replacement) so you had to outsource it through the Choice Program which still cost him his life. But either way he would have died because of the contrast that they injected into him who happens to be in stage 3 renal failure already. You do not put contrast into someone with stage 3 renal failure. It happen, and then he ended up on dialysis and he died as a result.
Would the VA have been any better? if they had all the right stuff to do the job? Probably not. Because the VA was gun ho to inject him with contrast during a MRI at the Phoenix VA, which after coming home from that cause great kidney pain and I had to take him to the emergency room that night, and that bill I am stuck with as well.
Being a veterans wife, was an honor. I would do it all over again for the man I love and cherish. I never left his side, slept on couches, chairs in the lobby of hospitals, slept in the back seat of cars or in his room while he stayed in all these hospitals. Not being able to take a shower, wash my hair or care for myself. I gave it all up for Travis. I put my own needs aside and worked my butt off to keep this man alive. Many doctors said he should have been dead a long time ago. Nope! not if I have it my way, he's staying alive for as long as I can keep him alive. I tried my hardest as my body and mind would allow me to fight and give him a quality of life, the feeling of being loved and cared for. He showed the same to me, love, honor and respect.
But God knows I gave it my best, I fought hard for him against the VA and everyone involved. Took the bull by the horns and showed them who's boss. In the end, the battle was lost and there was just no saving him from the faith he was about to meet head on. All I could do in the end, was make his life as comfortable as I possibly could. Let him know he was loved not only by me everyday, but his family too. The two children he helped me raise and took them under his wing as if they were his own, and he also adopted a few extra kids along the way. High school friends of our children who also called him dad.
I will always be a "Veterans wife" even if he is gone and at peace finally with no more suffering and pain. I earned that title. I don't expect a parade or ribbons and metals. I didn't earn them like the men and women who wore the uniform and fought this country. I am just a veterans wife, who honored, respected and cherish a veteran. Now I continue to fight in his honor, as I still battle the VA in his name. I will not stop until the war has ended. I will continue to get him service connected as I so feel Travis deserves. He earned it.
Now I must try to keep my head above water, and try to stay afloat. I have filed and sent in the paperwork to receive the Funeral Flag from the VA, and still haven't heard a word. I have also filed for the one time burial benefit and haven't heard a word. Lastly file for spousal survivor benefits, called the VA the other day on that and my paperwork is in the system, just don't know when they will get around to processing it. But every day I wake from sleep and go about my day, one has to say..."Well, your dealing with the VA".
In the meantime, there is a shrine in my living room, with a table decorated with a blue table cloth that bares the ashes of my husband, and decorated with stars and a patch that says "United States Navy Veteran" with his Vietnam Pin that he got at one Town Hall Meeting, and on order is his new dog tags and a bronze name plate for his box of ashes. By doing all of this, I know I can continue to honor him in my own little way, as I promised him I would.
Every morning I wake up I kiss his box and say Good Morning my love, I miss you! and before bed I say "Good night my love, I miss you" and cry myself to sleep.
The VA took him from me, and I have more rage than a bull in a china shop! They think it's all over because he is dead and gone. Think again, I'm still alive and my fight will go on until I take my last dying breath.
Thank you Travis for allowing me to be your wife, a veterans wife.
I love you always
The day I met my future husband was back on October 31, 1994. In November of that same year the next month we knew we were meant for each other and moved in together. Travis had been through 2 bad marriages and I had been through 3 myself. But we just knew there was something there, something clicked and our relationship took off.
It wasn't until March 1, 1998 that we decided we were compatible and got married. Just wanted to make sure everything was going smoothly before we both took that huge step. We were truck drivers when that day came. Got a load going to Las Vegas and we stopped at the Flying J truck stop on Cheyenne Ave. Took a taxi downtown and got married, and it was back to the truck stop.
From the day we first met, I noticed a few things about him that didn't seem right, like sleeping a lot, getting sick more than he should. But it didn't matter because I was madly in love with this man. It wasn't until we were both driving for CRST, Inc. trucking company that our lives changed. He broke his neck while we were unloading a trailer we shouldn't of had to do in the first place. Our dispatcher didn't want to pay to have the load unloaded by 4 guys we wanted to hire. The dispatcher keep saying "Get them to come down on price" which I didn't think $150 was too much considering it was 20 pallets, double stacked and a break down load, that was actually cheap! Nope, didn't want to pay that much. Well several hours later we had enough and I told Travis to stay in the truck as he wasn't feeling good and I would handle the load by myself. Well, of course he didn't listen and got into the trailer with me. We got all the way down to the last 4 pallets, and that when the top pallet gave way and came crashing down hitting Travis in the back of the head. Amazing thing about it was it never knocked him down, he was still standing. But I yelled at him to get his butt back in the sleeper berth and stay there. The next morning Travis couldn't get out of bed, he was in intense pain generating from his neck and head. CRST was giving us a bad time when I told them there was something wrong and he was injured. We both had to come off the truck and stop driving because of what happen. He was in too much pain to drive. Then CRST had him going to see their doctors and placing him on a table and stretching his neck which they called physical therapy. Travis was getting any better, he was getting worse. So I had enough and called a attorney to take this case. The attorney sent Travis in to see his occupational doctor/ orthopedic surgeon, and this doctor sent him in for a MRI of his neck and head. After the MRI the nurse was looking over the pictures to make sure everything came out right, and that's when she came walking over and said it's a miracle this man is still walking! that he's not paralyzed from the neck down. Travis had crushed 3 vertebrae's in his neck just like egg shells, crushed!! C-5, C-6 and C-7 Doctor then told us Travis had Degenerative bone disease and asked how long he had this? We didn't know. The doctor said his bones were like turning to powder. Surgery had to be done and so it was scheduled. They replaced the 3 crushed vertebrae's with titanium and coral mess and a dead man's rib bones. He seemed fine after the procedure, but it didn't end there. At the time this is all taking place we were homeless, living in run down motels and even the front seat of our truck with all our belongings in the bed of the truck. The doctor noticed Travis had numbing in both hands and figured it had to do with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and scheduled Travis to have not 2 but 3 procedures on both hands. Once on the right, and twice on the left hand. That's when I became his 24 hour 7 days a week caretaker. His hands were wrapped up, so I had to feed him, change him, bathe him and hold it while he pee'd and yes, wipe him when he had a bowel movement. Also I was with him through every procedure sleeping in the back seat of the car or the truck outside in hospital parking lots waiting for when I could go inside and be with him in his room. I never left him, stayed with him all the time. I had to because he hated hospitals and would give the nurses and staff a bad time. I was the only one who could calm him down and allow the nurses to work on him, as long as I was there.
We were homeless for 5 years living in vehicles and tents in campgrounds because the trucking company was only giving him $150 a week to survive on through Workers Compensation, and his attorney wasn't really helping neither, he didn't care. Finally the day came and it was time to appear in court for our hearing with CRST, Inc. That was held at a building across the street from the Pomona, CA. Courthouse on Holt Blvd. Travis won the case and he was to be compensated. But one thing you have to understand is, you don't get much in the end when it's a workers comp case. Because what the initial settlement is, everything is deducted from your settlement, such as the doctors bills, hospital bills, surgeries, everything! even the attorney fees, so what is left over is what you get. So Travis walked away with only $60,000 for breaking his neck and ending up with permanent damage to his neck, arms and hands, because the nerves were severed when the neck broke. So you don't walk away with much after it's all said and done. It was enough to get our lives back, get off the streets and start fresh. With that money we bought a used 98 Honda Civic which turned out to be the best car ever and I still have it to this day, 17 years later. The next thing we bought was a older mobile home in Bodfish, Ca. that was already sitting in a park and with only $150 a month space rent, couldn't pass that up. We painted it, added some new things inside along with new furniture and a new bed and we were living the life. Not long after moving in we became friends with the current park managers/owners, and they were telling us that they were selling the park, and the possible new owners were looking for on-site park managers in exchange for the two bedroom house and free rent. That was a opportunity we couldn't pass up and applied for the job and got it. The first year of being managers, everything went smoothly until Travis' health started to decline. I was able to get on Medi-cal for all of us since my daughter was living with us and going to school full time, she was in high school. I found a good doctor in town who would see both Travis and I for our healthcare. Dr. Jack Nadler was pretty cool, and when we made appointments he would see us both together at the same time. Doctor started doing some tests on Travis to find the source of the problem and why he was feeling so sick. On our next visit the doctor asked him how long he had been a diabetic? Both of us were clueless and didn't know, never thought of testing Travis' blood sugar levels. The reason being is because Travis' blood tests came back already showing signs of kidney damage. Then the doctor sent him down to Bakersfield, Ca. to have a Stress Test done on his heart. Even those tests came back showing signs of Congestive Heart failure. Makes you wonder where all this was coming from? why was he becoming so sick so fast? It's not like he didn't eat right or took care of himself. Yeah, he was a little overweight but considering he's 6'0" and a really big guy, large and stocky. The only thing I would nag him about was his drinking, and that was only beer, never hard liquor. The only time he would drink is when he got his check around the first of the month, bought a 12 pack and that was it until the next check. But occasionally the kids would sneak him in a 12 pack when they wanted to steal me for the day, because that's the only way he would say yes...LOL. He was not a heavy drinker. The doctor kept close watch of Travis and his diabetes to make sure he kept it under control. Even though I would find him sneaking in a candy bar or Twinkies from time to time, Oh heck! let's be honest here! Travis had a stash of crap he shouldn't be eating, but by saying no was like taking candy from a baby!! But I hounded him constantly and told him he wouldn't get better if he ate that crap. That's when Travis developed a huge cyst on his testicles the size of a grapefruit. Doctor Nadler made the appointments to have this removed at a hospital in Bakersfield. Thank God it wasn't cancer!! But what he did while he was in the hospital is sign himself out. Why? Because some nurse came into his room and tried to hook him up to a kidney dialysis machine when it was intended for the guy in the bed next to him. He flipped out and signed himself out and called me to come and get him. I had to be home during the day because I was the manager and needed to collect rents from tenants, and after the office would close I would drive down to be with him. So he came home with a huge opening on his testicles that I had to clean out 3 to 4 times a day and pack the hole so it could heal from the inside out.
Soon my daughter graduated high school and the Medi-cal was cut off, and I had to scramble fast to find another source of medical coverage for Travis. So my next step was to get online and apply for VA healthcare. Not only did he get free medical, but got a pension as well for not being able to work. It wasn't much, but enough to keep the roof over our heads, as we still had to pay all the utilities in the house and even propane and buy food. We only got the house to live in as payment for being managers, we still got stuck paying for everything else. So now I was taking Travis down to Bakersfield CBOC VA clinic for everything. Sucked because that was 80 miles round trip just to have blood drawn, but we had to do it. VA immediately put him on all kinds of drugs, and one of them was Metformin in which he was taking 1,000mg twice a day for the diabetes. The VA turned out to be the biggest battle of my life. I never let Travis handle dealing with the VA since his fuse was short, or he wouldn't comprehend anything or remember. So when it came to the phone calls, paperwork or ordering prescriptions, I was the one who did it all. Not only having to deal with the VA on a daily basis, but having to care for my sick husband as well.
The prescriptions just kept coming and more were added every time he had an appointment with them. He was taking so many drugs that he couldn't function, could get out of bed. Sometimes he would sleep for days, getting out of bed long enough to use the bathroom and right back to bed. Then he had the heart attack, didn't even know it. Something strange the doctor told us is that diabetics sometimes won't even know they had a heart attack called the Silent Killer. I got him to the hospital in our town and they got him stable. Then the ER doctor was going to have him transported to the VA in Los Angeles. The ER doctor called down to Los Angeles and requested transport by ambulance and the VA refused to pay for the ambulance bill. They told the ER doctor to have either his wife, friend or someone bring him down. That ER doctor was so upset! WOW! he overrode the VA and sent Travis by ambulance to Heart Hospital in Bakersfield. There he ended up with 2 stents in his heart because of blocked arteries. After being in there for 3 weeks they finally discharged him and sent him home. But not before adding 4 new medications to the list. All together he was on 4 different blood thinners including the worse of them all Coumadin (rat poison). By the time it was all said and done he was a walking pharmacy he was so drugged up. Travis had no quality of life, he had no life. Just a zombie laying in bed all day and night. When it was time for another doctors appointment, I had to dress him and practically carry him to the car.
One appointment came when he had to see his NP Nurse Practitioner at the clinic. She looked at him and said OOPS! I have to take you off of Metformin and put you on insulin! The Metformin caused more damage to his already damaged kidneys. It was so obvious that anyone down there with a license to practice didn't know what the hell they were doing. Just push them drugs! just give him more! not even taking into consideration side effects or which ones can't be mixed with other drugs. They didn't care. Not once did any NP look into the cause of the problem and try to cure it, oh hell no! "Here...just take this drug and hope it works"
I had enough of this circus and looked into not only quitting my job as property manager after 10 years of doing so, but to seek out better healthcare and make a beeline out of California. So after doing tons of research, I found Payson, Arizona. The only way we could make this move was to find something affordable, since his monthly VA pension was peanuts, we needed to find affordable housing, something that goes by your income. The apartments I wanted us to move into were just down the street, but they had a 5 year waiting list and I didn't want to wait that long. The Bakersfield VA Clinic was killing him and I needed to think fast. I found out that Payson, AZ had apartments by the same company as the ones in Lake Isabella, Ca. So I got online and contacted the manager directly. She emailed me back and said there's a 1 year waiting list. I applied for a unit. What was even more better is, the VA doctor was in town, only 1 mile from out house and the Phoenix VA hospital was 90 miles instead of like the Los Angeles VA that was 200 miles. It was perfect! But I had to wait one year, praying Travis would hold out that long.
We finally made it and moved into our new little apartment, our rent was only $268 a month with only having to pay electric. I thought we would never make it, but I made damn good and sure things went smoothly. Travis was shocked that I handled everything like I did and made things happen. I did this all for him. I just wanted my husband back, for us to have a life, to be able to get him out of bed and for us to do things together again, I missed the old Travis.
I gave up my life to care for this man, I gave up everything because Travis was my everything! I let myself go to hell, lost all of my teeth, couldn't afford to go to the dentist, and he couldn't afford it neither. I just made sure I did nothing but care for him for 24 years of my life. I'm not one of those high maintenance type of girls. You don't have to shower me with diamonds and pearls, don't have to buy me a fancy car or wear nice expensive clothes. Nope...take me out for an occasional hamburger and I'm happy. Just tell me you love me everyday, give me a kiss and a huge hug and I am on top of the world. Love was my diamond. Every single day of my life Travis told me how much he loved me, he never missed a day. Sometimes he would tell me several times a day. I was one lucky girl, and couldn't ask for more.
There is one thing I take very seriously and that's my wedding vows. For better of worse, richer or poorer, through sickness and health, to respect, honor and Cherish.
After the move to Payson those words worse and sickness would be put to the test. When Travis started going to the Phoenix VA. We moved here to Payson, Arizona in December of 2011, and then got Travis going to the Phoenix VA shortly after they transferred his medical file over and got him started there. At first everything seemed to be okay, having him come in to have lab work and some tests done. To see his doctor for his diabetes, which turned out to be a joke and we stopped seeing her. On one visit she started asking questions that were off the wall. None of the questions even had to do with his diabetes. Questions like "Do you own any guns?" "Do you feel like hurting yourself or others?" That's when I spoke up and said "What do any of these questions have to do with diabetes?" She just looked down at Travis' chart and couldn't give me a straight answer. That was the last time we seen her, never went back. We had no idea this scandal was even going on, veterans being placed on waiting lists, cooking the books. But we found out soon enough that my husband was one of them placed on this list.
It wasn't until they got busted and the cat out of the bag when the phone started ringing off the hook for Travis to come in for all sorts of testing, labs, surgeries and what ever else they could throw into the mix. What make it so difficult was that our only vehicle was really not in the condition to make those long trips to Phoenix for every single appointment. So we had to take the DAV shuttle van that came from Show Low, Arizona 90 miles east of Payson, sit in the parking lot of the Giant gas station around 7:00 am and wait for the van to show up to take us into Phoenix. That was a all day sucker! We would pack lunches and drinks into a cooler bag and take with us, because we were there all day, and sometimes wouldn't get back home until 5:00 or 6:00pm at night. I always went with him to every single appointment, had to. He couldn't remember anything, or where to go when he got there. I was his walking computer as I kept all of his medical records with me in a file box, knew everything about him inside and out. Without me being there, he would have been lost and became confused. The VA hated me, I know it. Because I was the type of person who didn't take crap from anymore, not even the government, especially the VA. The VA would call our house and ask to speak with Travis instead of me, so I would walk into the bedroom and hand Travis the phone and say "The VA doesn't want to speak with me, only you". He would grab the phone and tell them, "Don't speak to me, talked to my wife" and hand the phone back to me. I know it's true about what the veterans are saying when they say if you start crap with the VA they "Red Flag" you, your file. They label you as a trouble maker. I must of had the most red flags, because all I did was give the VA a piece of my mind and lots of trouble. Hey, they deserved it!
In 2014, that's when Senator McCain started the Choice Program and I was hoping things would start looking up and becoming better once this program came into full swing. Actually, no it didn't. The program was a absolute joke! Yes, I understand the program just got started and their employees were learning the ropes of a newly placed program, so they had to weed out a few things before things could run smoothly. I think I knew more about the program than they did. Travis was able to still see his Primary VA doctor here in Payson which was good, we really like this doctor. Even though he had his own private practice, he still had the heart to care for all of our veterans here in Payson and the surrounding areas. Great guy! So he signed on with a contract with the VA. Still, I went to every single appointment. I was the one who called, made all the appointments, and to have testing, labs what ever needed to be done. My main goal was to keep my husband alive as long as I could. There would be times Travis wouldn't want to go to any appointment, and I would get mad and tell him to get his butt dressed and get in the car!! There was no getting out of that with me. My job was to make sure, appointments were set, call Choice and get authorizations done, have a copy either faxed or mailed to me so that I could also have a copy for my files. Make sure the doctor would put in for the consult a few months in advance, cause God knows Choice would take their sweet time getting anything done. I was always on the phone with them, making sure everything was done right or to push them to get all the paperwork faxed over to doctors and the hospital. I learned the in and outs of the Choice Program, I learned real quick on how to play the game. If you didn't, you were screwed. Can't even begin to tell you how many times Choice didn't fax over the paperwork to the hospital so Travis could get his paracentesis done as it's always been done for the last 2 + years every single week on every Tuesday. Choice knew this, and still was late or didn't fax the paperwork in on time. Or, the hospital wasn't satisfied with the paperwork and needed the doctors signature to complete the process. Even though the doctors electronic signature was on it. So I found myself having to go to the hospital, get the authorization from the front administration desk, get in my car and drive over to the doctors office just to get his signature. When Choice did this to us, that's when we would go in for the appointment only to be told the paperwork was NOT faxed and I had to take him into the emergency room to get his paracentesis done in there. Even though it was the fault of Choice for not doing their job, we got stuck paying for those emergency room visits every single time! any where between $3,000 to $5,000 a visit. I can't even begin to find the words about how bad this Choice Program was and still is. They have really placed a burden on us when it comes to medical bills. This crap they throw at you about "If you have a emergency room visit and are unable to make it to the VA hospital, then call Choice within 24 hours and let them know" Ok, I did that and still got stuck with the bill because they claim the emergency room visit was NOT a emergency after all.
I started attending the VA Town Hall Meetings when they would come up to Payson, and I went alone. My husband didn't even want to go, so I would. When I did, I gave them a piece of my mind every time. I think I scared the last VA director before Rima Ann Nelson, Yeah, Debra Amdour I believe. When they finally brought me the Mic which took forever to get, since they were handing it to all the male veterans first, and I was just a veterans wife. I felt as if I was being ignored when they would pass me up. When they finally came over to me I was so upset that when I got the Mic, I blasted the room and the director as well! She couldn't even answer me, she was shaking so badly. She had to pass the microphone to the guy standing next to her. I demanded to know why the doctor bills weren't being paid, as I held up a very huge stack of unpaid bills and waved them around for all to see. That's when this guy in a suit approached me and asked me to come and talk to him in the other room. I know what was going on, they didn't like me making a scene so they wanted to whisk me away as quickly as possible. It's one of those games "Don't make the VA look bad". So I went into the other room with this guy who turned out to be The big guy from Customer Relations with no other than TriWest Glenn Gray. He asked if he could make copies of all my bills and promised me he would look into the matter. He paid a few of them, but I am still left with hundreds upon thousands more of medical bills dating as far back as 2005 and new ones to date. Even though I have the authorizations to the majority of those bills, they will never get paid and I am being sued.
Now that Travis is gone, it won't stop me from going to those Town Hall Meetings until these medical bills are paid in full. The last VA Town Hall which was not too long ago, right about the time Travis decided to pull the plug and go on dialysis. I was so happy when I was able to get Travis to go this time! The reason I needed him there this time is because I am only a veterans wife, and it's obvious they don't listen to the wife when the veteran isn't there. Because every time I would go, I would get blown off. But don't think I sat thee quietly and said nothing, Oh Hell no! I was a Wild Banshee and they knew I was there every time. This last Town Hall, he went with me. He sat in a old busted up wheelchair that had no foot rests, no arm rests and was all torn up. It was given to us years ago when I knew Travis' health was eventually going to fail him, so I kept it for just in case. But here he sat in his busted up wheelchair, barely able to lift his head as he sat there sick and slowly dying. Doctor had put in the consult 4 months prior to that night, and had not heard a word from the VA on when I was suppose to get a new wheelchair. Doctor even put in for a toilet riser so it wouldn't be too hard for me to lift Travis off the toilet, which was quite often considering he was taking diuretics Furosemide. Many of the medications would give him diarrhea and he had to go at least 4 to 5 times a day, or I would end up having to clean him up in bed and change the sheets. But at this Town Hall I finally got the chance to show the director of the Phoenix VA and all the others dressed in suits showing off their shiny name tags, see, here's my husband Travis, and he's dying. He has liver, kidney and heart failure. He pulled the plug on his dialysis and decided to let himself die. So what does it take to get a wheelchair out of you guys? I then proceeded to say to the Director Rima Nelson, "The doctor put in the consult months ago and I am still waiting" Ms. Nelson admitted to me that there was indeed a problem in that department that needed to be addressed. I told her, "Well, while your trying to figure out that problem, it's not doing me any good!" I had all these VA employees all trying to approach me at the same time while I was speaking to Ms. Nelson, basically trying to get me to shut up and not make a scene in front of all the other veterans. Can't make the VA look bad, now can I. I told them I wasn't done yet, and to let me finish. Now, I said, this is the third Town Hall I have attended, and I still have yet to see all these medical bill paid by you! As I held up a huge fully packed yellow envelope full of medical bills, while I grabbed the other envelope off the chair to show them that one too. So, I said, what is it going to take to get these paid? All she could say was that one of her staff was out there in the room and I could speak to him about the bills. The guy took me into the hallway outside the room to discuss the issue. I showed him all the authorizations I had along with stacks of unpaid bills. This idiot, which I could tell by the look in his eyes I was just being blown off too. He just kept saying, I'll look into those for you...repeat. He took down my number and as soon as he did that, I told him, "Yeah, you won't call me, and I am willing to wager on that" I was right, because the call never came, and I was again blown off.
Let's be honest here, the VA is one complete joke! I cannot even begin to believe how all these idiots have jobs! But yet they get so defensive when you try to take them on, challenge them, or they just hang up on you like they have done so many times to me. Nobody can even begin to imagine what I have gone through with the VA. I thank God Travis didn't have to do it, or he would have lost it a long time ago and ended his life from stress. I even went so far as to contact directly the President Of the United States about a problem I was having with the VA. This was way before they set up the VA hotline with the White House. My email went directly to the President. Within 3 days I got the call from his staff about my problem and they would look into it. 1 week later the VA in Washington DC was calling me to handle the matter, and they did.
Many don't know but I was even a whistle blower on the Phoenix VA, Oh yeah, and darn proud of it too. They deserved it! When Travis went in to have his carotid artery worked on, don't get me wrong, the doctors did a great job, and I had no complains there. The Vascular surgeon was excellent and I thanked her for it too. The problem was with the patients rooms. When they took him out of ICU and took Travis to a regular room, the conditions of the room were horrible, disgusting to the point I have seen dog kennels cleaner than these rooms! This was no joke! I've got the pictures to prove it, which I took with my cell phone. I was the reason they said no more cameras or cell phones taking pictures. It was because of me. The medical equipment was covered with blood, feces, you name it. Covered in a black soot, never been cleaned. Blood splatter every where. Now let me not forget to tell you this! When he first came in to be admitted and they took Travis into one of these smaller rooms, which are about the size of a coat closet. Bed up against the wall and one chair because they can't fit anything else in there. Two nurses came in to take his blood from his arm.One was a actual nurse, the other was a trainee CNA. Taking blood from his arm was not the problem, it was when the trainee reached in her pocket to pull out a cotton ball to place on his arm, she dropped it on the floor. Well instead of pulling out a fresh cotton ball to put on his arm, she reached down and picked up the now dirty cotton ball and put that on his arm where the blood was drawn. He threw a fit, and the nurses got mad and walked out doing nothing about it. Then one day when he was out of ICU and into another room, the real dirty room, this maintenance guy came in with a picture to hang on the wall. He had a drill in the other hand. He moved Travis bed from the wall a few inches, just enough so this guy could get in there to hang the picture above his bed. When he drilled the hole in the wall to place the screw, all this plaster from the wall came flying all over Travis and even got some of it into his eyes. The guy hung the picture, put his bed back and said "Sorry" and walked out. Funny thing about it is, the picture he put up, looked like something out of a thrift store or yard sale. Out dated style of picture, like something from the 80's because it had a mauve color frame. But yet the VA claims it spent millions of dollars on art work to decorate the VA hospitals, yeah right! I know because I have old kitchen cabinets in my apartment that are the same color, and my apartment was built back in the 80's. So I am not stupid, I know a back street bargain when I see one. Took a picture of that too! want to see it? The bathroom in his room which was shared with the adjoining patient room, was sickening! to say the least. Feces all over the toilet, blood, and even the tile floor had so much build up of some black icky goo that I took my finger and actually scraped this nasty stuff up with my finger nail. (Don't worry, I washed my hands) The janitor that came in the mop the floors, the water was so black I thought he was mopping the floor with 40 wt. motor oil. Never changed the water at all. Now, the biggest thing of them all to where my husband was so upset that he put on his clothes and was ready to walk out. I was on my way down to see him when I got the call to come and get him now. I was coming down on the DAV shuttle van. He was laying in bed half awake/asleep. This nurse walks in to take his temp, she has with her this medical cart that has the blood pressure monitor, cuff and basket on the back with her little box of temp wand covers. She goes to grab the temp machine and realizes there are no more temp wand covers. So instead of marching her butt down the hallway to get a new box of plastic temp wand covers, she looks over at Travis and thinks he's sleeping, which he's not. She grabs a USED dirty temp cover out of the trash bag on the cart, puts it on the temp wand and goes to stick it in his mouth! He stopped her by grabbing her arm and saying "You aren't putting that dirty thing in my mouth!!" The nurse freaked and stormed out of his room. That's when I get the call and told him I was on my way and to hold tight until I get there. When I arrived, he was already dressed and sitting up on the edge of the bed. He explained what happen and demanded that he get released and go home. I walked down to the nurses station and told them to get ahold of his vascular surgeon so she can do up the discharge papers. When I was walking back to his room, he passed me in the hallway, he was already leaving and not coming back. Nurses were screaming at him to come back, chasing him down the hall after him. He wouldn't listen, it was me he would only listen to. So I had to go get him and let him know they contacted his doctor and she was coming and to wait patiently until she showed up. About 20 minutes later, here comes the doctor and asks Travis what's going on, so Travis told her. All the doctor could say is, let me get the papers printed up and you can go home, but let me also examine you too. Travis showed her that he was fine and she let him go. I got a wheelchair and wheeled him out to wait for the shuttle van to return and take us home. I found out later while looking over his medical files on Myhealthevet.va.gov that a nurse noted in his chart that he was escorted off VA premises by the VA police! Ah, No...I don't think so. There was no VA police around and I wheeled him right out the front door. It still shows up on his medical file to this day, but I made them amend it and they put below, "Wheeled out by wheelchair by his wife". The only reason they put up those old pieces of artwork, if you can call it that. Is because the Inspector General was paying a visit for inspection, so they were racing against the clock to get everything looking half decent.
There's is absolutely nothing good I can say about the Phoenix VA, I just know that they were waiting for my husband and I to go away. No, not going to happen. Now my husband is dead, I still have tons of medical bills and they keep coming in every day in the mail. You guys denied my husband services, you refused to even pay for his kidney dialysis only because you found the perfect opportunity to finally take him out. It wasn't until I roared like a lion and threaten you guys that you finally agreed to pay for the dialysis.
It was the VA who didn't have the proper set up nor the equipment, or doctor to perform the TAVR procedure (heart valve replacement) so you had to outsource it through the Choice Program which still cost him his life. But either way he would have died because of the contrast that they injected into him who happens to be in stage 3 renal failure already. You do not put contrast into someone with stage 3 renal failure. It happen, and then he ended up on dialysis and he died as a result.
Would the VA have been any better? if they had all the right stuff to do the job? Probably not. Because the VA was gun ho to inject him with contrast during a MRI at the Phoenix VA, which after coming home from that cause great kidney pain and I had to take him to the emergency room that night, and that bill I am stuck with as well.
Being a veterans wife, was an honor. I would do it all over again for the man I love and cherish. I never left his side, slept on couches, chairs in the lobby of hospitals, slept in the back seat of cars or in his room while he stayed in all these hospitals. Not being able to take a shower, wash my hair or care for myself. I gave it all up for Travis. I put my own needs aside and worked my butt off to keep this man alive. Many doctors said he should have been dead a long time ago. Nope! not if I have it my way, he's staying alive for as long as I can keep him alive. I tried my hardest as my body and mind would allow me to fight and give him a quality of life, the feeling of being loved and cared for. He showed the same to me, love, honor and respect.
But God knows I gave it my best, I fought hard for him against the VA and everyone involved. Took the bull by the horns and showed them who's boss. In the end, the battle was lost and there was just no saving him from the faith he was about to meet head on. All I could do in the end, was make his life as comfortable as I possibly could. Let him know he was loved not only by me everyday, but his family too. The two children he helped me raise and took them under his wing as if they were his own, and he also adopted a few extra kids along the way. High school friends of our children who also called him dad.
I will always be a "Veterans wife" even if he is gone and at peace finally with no more suffering and pain. I earned that title. I don't expect a parade or ribbons and metals. I didn't earn them like the men and women who wore the uniform and fought this country. I am just a veterans wife, who honored, respected and cherish a veteran. Now I continue to fight in his honor, as I still battle the VA in his name. I will not stop until the war has ended. I will continue to get him service connected as I so feel Travis deserves. He earned it.
Now I must try to keep my head above water, and try to stay afloat. I have filed and sent in the paperwork to receive the Funeral Flag from the VA, and still haven't heard a word. I have also filed for the one time burial benefit and haven't heard a word. Lastly file for spousal survivor benefits, called the VA the other day on that and my paperwork is in the system, just don't know when they will get around to processing it. But every day I wake from sleep and go about my day, one has to say..."Well, your dealing with the VA".
In the meantime, there is a shrine in my living room, with a table decorated with a blue table cloth that bares the ashes of my husband, and decorated with stars and a patch that says "United States Navy Veteran" with his Vietnam Pin that he got at one Town Hall Meeting, and on order is his new dog tags and a bronze name plate for his box of ashes. By doing all of this, I know I can continue to honor him in my own little way, as I promised him I would.
Every morning I wake up I kiss his box and say Good Morning my love, I miss you! and before bed I say "Good night my love, I miss you" and cry myself to sleep.
The VA took him from me, and I have more rage than a bull in a china shop! They think it's all over because he is dead and gone. Think again, I'm still alive and my fight will go on until I take my last dying breath.
Thank you Travis for allowing me to be your wife, a veterans wife.
I love you always
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